Blair
by the.long.and.winding.road
Summary: "Duncan is the name she was given at birth, and for sixteen years, she's been calling herself that and referring to herself as a male. But she's never felt right in her own body...and she's not going to stand for it anymore." Male to Female Duncan. This is obviously a serious AU. Duncney.


**I myself am not transgendered, but I pray that I have presented this subject in a respectful manner. This is obviously _very_ AU, but I'm saddened at the lack of trans Total Drama stories, and pray that this fic can help remedy this!**

**Cis/cisgender, for those who don't know, refers to people who identify with the gender that they were assigned to at birth.**

**No transphobia will be tolerated in reviews.**

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Sometimes, she's able to feel like she can hide it – that she can hide her discomfort whenever her birth name is called, whenever someone refers to her with the wrong pronouns, and as fans crowd her, crowing out a "You're the hottest _guy_ on Total Drama!". When she first came to the island, it was much easier for her to go along with her assigned gender at birth – her plan always was to make little to no close friends, keep her desires in check, and to win – get the money and then get the $100,000. She was planning to use the money for reassignment surgery when she turned eighteen and left her house.

But then _Courtney_ came with her fiery personality, her adorable physique, and her constant nagging, and well, she was pretty much sold on the brunette. Courtney came into her life, and then her girlfriend began talking of plans after the show, sometimes even their life together in the future.

And, well. Hiding the fact that she was a woman stuck in a man's body became a much harder thing to keep inside.

Duncan is the name she was given at birth, and for sixteen years, she's been living underneath the roof of a father who calls her "confused", brothers who separate themselves from her, and a mother who's not quite sure what to think of it, except to turn a blind eye to the mumbled slurs her father says to her.

For sixteen years, she's called herself a boy, but ever since coming to the island, and realizing that she _can't_ live like this for another sixteen years, she's finally going to do something about it.

And "doing something about it" happens to take shape in telling her girlfriend about it, on the set of Total Drama.

Courtney's always told her to open up about her feelings; it's been a constant loop of the same talk, every time.

As she approaches the girls trailer, and nearly sighing aloud in relief as she sees that Courtney is the only girl inside, she smiles to herself. _Good thing Beth isn't here,_ she thinks as she knocks on the door frame, smirking as Courtney jolts from where she's reading.

"What do you want?" Courtney drawls, playfully, tossing her book down next to her after making a dogear on the open page. "I'm not up for a make-out session today, so don't even think about-"

"No," she starts, loudly, shaking her head and clearing her throat. _It's now or never,_ she thinks, shaking slightly despite herself as she begins to cross the trailer floor. After glancing around quickly to make sure that the cameras aren't on, she looks down at Courtney. "No, I kind of...I want to talk."

Immediately, Courtney coughs out a few laughs, rolling her eyes. Upon noticing her silence and glancing up to see the annoyance and honesty in her gaze, Courtney raises an eyebrow.

"Oh," she starts, blinking. "Oh, you're serious."

She nods. "Yeah, Princess, I shockingly have _some_ feelings."

Courtney purses her lips, sitting up straight and pulling her knees up to her chest. Patting the space on the bed in front of her feet, she looks up at her.

"What do you want to talk about?" she asks, blinking once again. "I'm guessing it's serious...?"

Sitting down on the bed, she nods, frowning. "I don't know how to tell you this..." she starts, immediately looking at her lap and pausing once she realizes what she's going to do.

She's going to let someone else in on her biggest secret – the one thing that leaves her up at night, tossing and turning and praying that she could just be cisgendered and _normal._

(Although she knows that it's completely and utterly wrong to say that being cis is in anyway the _normality_, still, she just wishes that she wasn't a trans woman. She wishes that her mind and her body both agreed on her gender, instead of one feeling like a woman and the other staying a man.)

Courtney gasps, and she turns, seeing her girlfriend staring at her with wide eyes, and a hand over her mouth.

"You're not going to tell me you're gay, right?" she asks after a moment, taking her hand away from her face. "I mean – I'd still love you, you know, but I'll be a little bit pissed to for not-"

"Princess, I'm not gay," she snaps, a little too harshly. _A lesbian, yes, but not a gay man._

Courtney frowns. "Then what are you building up such a suspense for?" she asks. After another moment, she narrows her eyes; an angry, downright scary look crosses her face as she stares on. "You're not breaking up with me, are you?"

"No," she says, shaking her head. _If I don't tell her now...then I'm always going to be Duncan, her boyfriend._ "Court, I'm, uh...I'm not a guy."

Courtney stares at her; the silence penetrates the air. "What?" she asks, although it's not unkind – more so just...confused.

"I mean, yeah, I was born with a dude and all, but...but I'm not _really_ a guy. I feel- I _am_ a girl. A transgendered girl," she starts, her words tumbling out of her mouth and causing Courtney to blink at her. "It's just- I've always felt like a girl, ever since I was a kid, and I needed you to know that I _need _that million so I can get my surgeries and change my name and so I can be in the right body."

Courtney stares at her, for a few silent moments, carefully regarding her. After what seems like hours – each moment making her regret her decision to come out in the first place – the corners of her girlfriends mouth tilt upward in a soft smile; a rare moment of kindness.

"What's your name?" she inquires, tilting her head to the side as she crosses her arms over her knees.

"Uh," she starts, rather awkwardly, blinking. "I mean, I always liked the name Blair..."

"After _The Blair Witch Project_?" Courtney asks, rolling her eyes. "Your penchant for horror movies continues to surprise me."

She stares at her girlfriend, with what feels like a ton of pounds being lifted off of her shoulders as she hears the loving joking of Courtney's statement, and the fact that she's not running away laughing and calling her a slur.

"You don't care?" she says, incredulously. "You're okay with me being transgendered?"

Courtney shrugs. "I care about you," she states, smiling. "And you being my girlfriend now instead of my boyfriend doesn't change that. I'll have to get used to it, but I promise that you won't go through your transitioning and coming out alone."

And, for the first time in sixteen damn years, Blair smiles in relief.


End file.
